Signs of Hope

Last couple days I have been fighting the great sadness.  The death of a child has no time table as we all know.  There are so many triggers that knock me to my knees.  Sunday I attended a memorial service at the funeral home where my Jay had been.  Since then I've been fighting this choking feeling in my chest.  I have learned that when the sadness is too big; I need to move and do something.  So I went into my gardens and worked; all along saying to myself what is the purpose in doing this.  Stinken thinking!!!!!!!  I once loved working in the gardens it brought me peace.  Now I seem to do it to stay busy.    When my heart is the heaviest is when I get "Signs of Hope".  Little snippets that remind me that just because I can't physically see Jay doesn't mean that he is not near.  Today out of the corner of my eye; I saw the hawk as he glided through the trees in town and then I saw a camper that had "Jay's Flight" written on it's side.  Coincidence I think not.......    http://www.reference.com/motif/science/symbolism-of-hawk