I was told weeks ago by my Attorney who is settling Jay's estate that I must return the license plate for the motorcycle that ultimately caused the accident. So license plate, death certificate and probate appointment in hand I went to the DMV and the Tax Assessors Office. As I stood waiting for the clerk to complete the paperwork; I stared at the death certificate and fixated on Describe How Injury Occurred: Answer - Struck Fixed Object. Then and there I felt my chest tighten and the tears start to surface. As always when I am struggling; Jay lets me know that he is with me. The song "If I Die Young" started to play; a beautiful song that was sent to me after Jay's passing. These lyrics always make me think of him.
" Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh well
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aw8W6hYGZ0E&feature=related
Everytime I hear this song it makes me sad to think of how my best friend in the whole world is hurting so deeply. I heard this song for the first time on the day that I heard Jay went to be with the Lord during our 16 hour drive from SC to CT and it made me cry when I heard that line, "ain't even grey but she buries her baby". I love you Nance and it break my heart to see you go through this but I also have seen your strength and determination to live your life. Just as Jay would want you to. xo
ReplyDeleteThank you Tea; with all my heart I am pushing to live life as Jay would want me too. This is a hard journey -one I wish on no other; I am learning how to find peace in this "new normal" for me, for Brandon and for my Jay. xxoo
DeleteYou have come along way. Yours is a journey that none of us every want to take. You know how much I have always loved my daughter ...but because of Jay 's passing I make sure she knows everyday. You were always his rock and your there for Brandon. Never question that...
ReplyDeleteLove you - keep sending me encouragment - I will never quit....
Delete