There are days on this grief journey that I wonder if I will ever feel normal again. Today though was a "I feel alive" kind of day. I went to the beach with two little boys who belong to my son's girlfriend. Their giggling and funny antics was so contagious. Together we spend hours building sand castles and hunting for sea glass. Not wanting to be outdone by a 10 year old; this 50+ woman swam out and back to the floating dock. While out there I saw "moon jellyfish" - I had never seen them before; hundreds and hundreds of them - a first for me. Then we baited hooks with hot dogs and hunted for crabs - another first for me. We finished our day with ice cream cones; yes I had one too! I no longer deprive myself of such indulgence! Life is way too short. A lesson learned the hard way....
Today I felt normal! I laughed deep belly laughs and didn't feel guilty for not being sad. For hours I was just in the moment; not having the shadow of the great sadness shatter my peace. I am okay...I am really okay!
I am so happy to hear this. May you have many more days like this one. You do deserve it and Jay is smiling when you smile, laughing when you laugh.
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