Each one of these stacked rocks represents a burden that I carry emotionally with me each day. A cocktail of crazy unrealistic expectations; from trying to protect my youngest son 24/7 to chastising myself for not having done something in Jason's name - heck it's been two years. In the last week I have gone to the beach no less than five times to reflect, find solace and to pray. Jason's death has placed such fear in my heart and made me a little nutty (lol). As a grieving mom, I am ever vigilante always waiting for the shoe to drop again. SO CRAZY - for none of us are in control of our destiny or the destiny of others. On that rocky stretch of beach that I love so much in the Borough of Stonington, I left my burdens in God's hands.
For right now I am going to take care of myself physically; eating right, exercising and resting. THAT'S IT!!!!!! Making sure this earthly vessel is strong with the stamina needed to carry out God's plans whenever they reveal themselves. I will let him be the navigator in my life. For right now - I will drift along and wait for the direction of the wind to change.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
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Please let me know if I can help in anyway. I am here to listen and share this journey called grief with you.