Voice of Truth

There is no greater fear or sadness then not knowing where your child is!  Each night I have prayed for comfort and assurance that Jay is okay.  I have been tormented that Jay may not be at peace or happy.  On December 5th, on my knees I cried hysterically and prayed for help.  I told the Lord I could not find the courage to move on and do his work without being at peace knowing Jay had found joy in heaven.  I was brought up in a religion that taught me that there was no salvation for sinners.  The Church preached to us from a very young age that if you sin "you go to hell" - end of story.  That thought which was so  impeded in my brain has many times affected my thinking when it comes to God.

When Jay was a little boy he was taught about prayers, God and attended church.  But from the time he was eleven and moved away - religion was no longer a part of his life.  That is until a special lady named Alana walked into his life with two small children (Linnea and James) who had God in their hearts.  In the months before Jay's passing, they would hold hands as a family and say grace at the table and Jay would always say Amen.  Jay would always come into the bedroom and say prayers with Linnea and James.  The kids and Alana loved Christian music and "Mr. Hard Rock Jay" would listen patiently in the car and in the house.  He was a BELIEVER!!! There are such falsehoods in the different religions - we are all sinners.  We do make mistakes but because of Jesus we continue to be forgiven.

The next day, I went to the cemetery to decorate for Christmas.  In  front of Jay's memorial stone placed purposely in a deep plant hole was a pamphlet titled "What is God Like?"  I looked around to see if any of the other stones had this pamphlet and they did not.  The words spoke volumes of the mercy of God for us sinners.  "No matter what sin you have committed, no matter how dirty, shameful or terrible it may be, God loves you. God's love provided a plan for redemption and salvation for sinful humans, God's love provided the cross of Jesus Christ by which we have forgiveness and cleansing.  The words that stood out the most were the following; for my Jay was a believer!

"God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16)

Last March I had this vision:
An Angel is standing with his back to me; all I can see is its white wings.  This angel is blocking something.  The Angel slowly turns and steps aside.  Then I see  Jay's beautiful smile and his body a blur of mist.  But the best part was Jay giving me that quick little wave that only Jay could do.

 My heart is calmed and I know that Jay is in a beautiful peaceful place. Someday soon I will
 see my sweet baby boy again....

 

Voice of Truth....beautiful song from Alana
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaVg0cWkgAw