This will be my third Christmas without my sweet boy. The great sadness still tugs at my heart when I hear a Christmas Song or when reality rears its ugly head knowing there will be an empty chair at the family dinner table. The memories flood my mind of Christmases past; some make me smile and some make me cry. But this year is different; I don't feel the great sadness 24/7.
I know with certainty that my Jay hears me when I cry and he can feel my sorrow. Soul to soul; a Mother and child are forever connected. So this year, I decided that I would give my Jay a special gift for Christmas; the gift of life. I was going to be part of the Christmas season and not just a bystander wishing it all to go away. I put up a Christmas tree and hung Jason's stocking. Each day I have placed a message of hope in his stocking; a message of gratitude. Every invitation that has been extended to me, I accepted even if I didn't feel like going; parties, plays, concerts, dinners and volunteering at church. I even baked cookies!
I want Jay to have a peaceful soul; one not burdened by my sadness. There isn't a day that I don't miss him or feel the ache in my heart. Life is so different since Jay left us; but I am learning to live wholeheartedly and adjust to life with this hole in my heart. Merry Christmas my son - I love you to the moon and back.
I know with certainty that my Jay hears me when I cry and he can feel my sorrow. Soul to soul; a Mother and child are forever connected. So this year, I decided that I would give my Jay a special gift for Christmas; the gift of life. I was going to be part of the Christmas season and not just a bystander wishing it all to go away. I put up a Christmas tree and hung Jason's stocking. Each day I have placed a message of hope in his stocking; a message of gratitude. Every invitation that has been extended to me, I accepted even if I didn't feel like going; parties, plays, concerts, dinners and volunteering at church. I even baked cookies!
I want Jay to have a peaceful soul; one not burdened by my sadness. There isn't a day that I don't miss him or feel the ache in my heart. Life is so different since Jay left us; but I am learning to live wholeheartedly and adjust to life with this hole in my heart. Merry Christmas my son - I love you to the moon and back.
A CHRISTMAS PRESENT
It's Christmas time and I'll miss you
You'll never know how much
The greatest thing I could get...
Would be just to feel your hug.
I know you're safe in Heaven
And you're as happy as can be
And I know that I'm being wishful
To want you here with me.
Have a lovely Christmas
I'll get by, you'll see
Just promise me on Christmas day
That you will think of me.
I know you're safe in Heaven
And you're as happy as can be
And I know that I'm being wishful
To want you here with me.
Have a lovely Christmas
I'll get by, you'll see
Just promise me on Christmas day
That you will think of me.
Heard this song last week at a Christmas Concert and it made me cry; so beautiful - Christmas in Heaven http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFmArzsGyEI
Beautiful, just beautiful......
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