Sea Glass

Today I once again went to the sea for quiet reflection and to find peace.  It was a warm sunny day and I was able to put the top down on the car.  It was freeing to feel the wind and the warmth of the sun.  There are always subtle or in this instance blatant signs from my Jay.  As I came off the exit, an orange sign caught my eye.  It was a large truck with a crane on it.  Simply written on the crane in bold massive letters 

"ELLIOTT".

There is a hurricane coming but I see no sign of Sandy approaching all is calm and quiet at the shore.  It is ironic that last year on Jason's birthday we had the freak snow storm that left the state stranded.  Now we have an unseasonal hurricane that will arrive just in time for Jay's birthday.

It is low tide and I spend time looking for those rare gems called sea glass that I am always on a quest to find.  Beautiful pieces I did find; aqua blue, teal, greens and cornflower blue.  Once these gems from the sea were part of a whole. Now they are cracked and broken, but time has softened their edges, each becoming new on their own. 

I am like that piece of sea glass.  When Jason left us; I no longer was whole. I was broken fragmented pieces of what I once was.  The shards of a grieving mom - I  knew only pain and sorrow. But like my pieces of sea glass; the edges of  my grief  and sorrow have softened.  I have evolved through the many passages of this grief journey and I am healing.   I too am becoming new;  they call this time in a grieving parent's life the "New Normal".  Not saying that everyday is a good day; but I am saying that everyday is not a bad day.  God Bless All Grieving Parents.