A book I just read by Pastor Dennis Apple author of "Life after the death of my son" say’s that "Sorrow Shared is Sorrow Halved" - when a parent has a grief attack crashing into their mind and heart it causes pressure to build like a pressure cooker. We need a friend who we can confide in; who truly listens to our pain - WITHOUT TRYING TO FIX US - we'll walk away from the conversation much lighter, taking on new courage to face the future.
Woke up sad again; stuck in my thoughts - the doom and gloom of grief hanging over my head. Then I read this message from my friend; “I love you with all my heart and my heart hurts when you hurt. My prayers for you is that one day you will find hope and joy and live as Jay would want you to live. "Gotta look this world in the eye, gotta live this life till you die.” The last words "Gotta look....." were written by my son two months before his passing on my chalkboard. This subtle reminder encouraged me to move; I took a long walk and then sat at the beach eating my lunch taking in all the beauty. My friends are truly a gift from God; angels sent to help me navigate my way on this road called grief...
Please don't ask me if I'm over it yet.
I'll never get over it.
Please don't tell me he's in a better place.
He's not here with me.
Please don't say he isn't suffering any more.
I haven't come to terms with why he had to suffer at all.
Please don't ask me if I feel better.
Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up.
Please don't tell me at least you had him for so many years.
What year would you like your loved one to die?
Please don't tell me God never gives us more than we can bear.
Please just say you're sorry.
Please just say you remember him if you do.
Please mention his name.
Please be patient with me when I am sad.
Please just let me cry.
Anonymous
He's not here with me.
Please don't say he isn't suffering any more.
I haven't come to terms with why he had to suffer at all.
Please don't ask me if I feel better.
Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up.
Please don't tell me at least you had him for so many years.
What year would you like your loved one to die?
Please don't tell me God never gives us more than we can bear.
Please just say you're sorry.
Please just say you remember him if you do.
Please mention his name.
Please be patient with me when I am sad.
Please just let me cry.
Anonymous
Nancy, I hope that many grieving parents who have lost a child read your inspirational words. Betsy
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for taking the time to read my messages. It helps me heal knowing someone is listening...God Bless
DeleteI can only hope that our friendship helps you. I don't always know what to say or do...but will always be here for you to lean on. Rob
ReplyDeleteRobbie, your friendship keeps me afloat when I am drowning in this journey called grief. You give me courage when I am discouraged. Love you to the moon and back my friend.
ReplyDelete