Thanksgiving

AND FOR THIS I GIVE THANKS.....................



My Youngest Son - Brandon - my life and my rock



This will be the third holiday season without my son here in the physical sense.  On that first Thanksgiving the empty chair and place at the table seemed to scream out at me that someone precious was missing. And the message of this particular holiday was thankfulness? What on earth could I ever find to be thankful for?  In all honesty, I cannot tell you even one detail of that first one: where I spent it, who was present, where I was, or if I cried all day.  I am sure the numbness factor of early grief shielded me from the memory of something that was so inconceivable...that my precious son was gone...forever.

Three Thanksgiving's later,  I have found reasons to be thankful:

1. For my youngest son Brandon.  He gives me purpose to continue living.  His excitement over the  simple things in life; hayrides, camping, hanging Christmas Lights etc. fills my heart with Joy.  Brandon's love heals my pain and drives me harder to go on.
2. For my faith in God which has given me the courage to get up each day and live life instead of wanting to just give up.  Prayer and the word of the Gospel gives me Hope and brings peace into my heart.  There is a purpose in this life for me and I know that it will unfold when the time is right.
3. My memory, because now the painful memories are, more often than not, replaced with the beautiful  memories of the past.
4. My life, for whom else will keep Jason's memory alive? Of course, my family, but they have lives, as they should. I am the self-appointed keeper of my son's memory.
5. Smiling a genuine smile, laughing a hardy laugh, and finding my sense of humor again. I sincerely believe that Jay likes to hear me laugh and that he would want me to find humor in life again.
6. For my dear friends and family who have patiently waited as I wander this journey called grief. For  allowing me to grieve on my own terms and in my own time.

God Bless The Parents Who Have An Angel In Heaven

Reflection:

John 16:33 "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world"