Live Like Jay

“Even the saddest things can become, once we have made peace with them, a source of wisdom and strength for the journey that still lies ahead.”   Frederick Buechner

July 9^th 2013 will mark the third anniversary of my Jay’s untimely accident.  Being a logical person, I truly believed that this year would not be as hard as year one and year two.  I look at where I was three years ago compared to today; I am stronger, wiser and learning; pushing myself to live my life without Jay in it.  But the devastation started to settle in once the calendar changed to July 1^st.  

Grief is such an angry beast!  He is relentless in his quest to strip me of hope and joy.  The beast knocks me back down and detours my journey of healing.  The sadness makes me tired and I cry so much more than I normally do.  Stinkin thinkin magnifies itself; I start to question my existence here on earth.  Am I ever going to do more than just exist day to day waiting for joy to return.   I’m sad.  Brokenhearted and wounded.  My Jay is momentarily gone from me, taken without notice, way too soon for my liking.

But always in true fashion, my Jay finds a way of sending a message to me from behind the veil.   Renting movies is my way of keeping my mind quiet.  I picked this movie called “Chasing Mavericks”; I thought it was a horse movie.  Unbeknownst to me it was a true story of “Jay Moriarty” a surfer who lived only 22 short years. 

At the end of the movie this sign comes across the screen; “Live Like Jay”.    When the community in California says “Live Like Jay”.  It means to enjoy every day and live in the moment.  Take the time to appreciate the people around you.   I cry alligator tears “okay my Jay okay.”

One month before Jay passed he wrote the following on the chalkboard in the basement.

“Gotta look this world in the eye. Gotta live this life until you die”

Love you my son to the moon and back for always...miss you like crazy