Copper Dragonfly

A day does not go by that I do not think about Jay, but I know that he is looking down on me and is proud that I use the tragedy of his death to help others who have also lost a child.  I haven’t written not for lack of desire but for lack of a peaceful heart.  This Wednesday makes two weeks that I have left the gray and cold weather of Connecticut; for the warmth of the sun in the South.

My challenge has been being here alone; solitude has been a time of healing but I find at times that I get lost in my thoughts and grief  slips back in. A couple days had gone by and I was feeling more sadness than peace in my heart.  I was in a parking lot sitting in my car.  My dear friend and I were talking about my Jay and of course the tears started to flow.  As if queued; a beautiful copper dragonfly with the most beautiful iridescent wings started darting back and forth across my windshield. I had the convertible top down and now the dragonfly is in and out of my car.  It wasn’t leaving; I am so excited - my Jay always comes when I need him the most.  He gives me a sign and always lets me know he is near.

Today was a better day; I made a point of meeting new people.  I stood at the edge of the ocean plucking seashells from her shore; sending the people back home pictures of the beautiful beach.  In my heart I was at peace; I am not alone – I will always have my Jay and God.

Reflection: Psalm 126:5
"Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy."